Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

RAJINI JOKES

When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
What is the email ID of Rajinikanth…..gmail@rajanikanth.com
Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
Even Gajini remembers Rajni !!!
Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Submit your jokes on Rajinikanth.........................................

PJ Puzzles

Worst PJ Puzzles:

*Ek dog road par ulta pada tha to log use worship karne lage. Kyu?
Kyuki DOG ka ulta is GOD

*Mare hue insan ke mooh me kya daloge?
Birla plus cement, kyuki "IS CEMENT ME JAAN HAI"

*What is the cube of 13?
Suroor, because
TERA*TERA*TERA=SUROOR

*What did the mother kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
"Aila,meri pocket kisne maari"

*What would you call a girl who never laughs?
HASI-NA

*Why a heartbroken person doesnt need general knwldge?
Kyunki jab dil hi toot gaya to "GK" kya karenge

*Agar 2 peepal k ped ko rassi se baandh diya jaye to rassi ko kya kahenge?
NOKIA- Connecting peepal

Sindhi Delivery

ADVERTISEMENT AT MATERNITY HOSPITAL
Sindhi delivery Rs 500
Sindhi: Itna sasta?
Doctor: Mehnat nai karni padti. Neeche 100 ka note dikhao bacha apne aap bahar aa jata hai.

Sharabi

Daru ki vajah se barbad sharabi ne kasam li or ghar se daru ki khali bottles fekne laga.
1st fek k bola-teri vajah se meri nokri gayi.
2nd fek k bola-teri vajah se mera ghar bika
3rd fek k bola-teri vajah se meri Bibi chali gayi
4th uthai vo bhari hui nikli to bola-tu side me ho ja isme tera koi kasoor nahi !

Doberman

Diff. betwen God, Tailor, GirlFrnd & wife?
God makes MAN,
Tailor makes him GENTLEMAN,
GirlFrnd Makes him HE-MAN,
Wife makes him DOBERMAN.

Male priest

Mandir mein Pujari Purush hi Q hote hain?
Socho socho!
nahi samjhe?
Areey..!
Taki Bhakt Bhagawan par dhyan de sake....!

Fashion TV

What is FASHION TV?
It is a Place Where Designers Show Their Creations On Models & Models Drop Designers Creations to Show GOD'S CREATIONS..!

Spelling mistake

A single spelling mistake that caused a Divorce!!A man went to Goa & sent a msg to his Wife -"Having Amazing & wonderful Time,I wish u were HER!" (HERE)

Bounced cheque

Prostitute in the police station. The Police officer asked "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replied "when the cheque bounced!"

Marriage

HUSBAND: "If i die wil you marry again?
WIFE: "No, i'll stay with my sister.if i die wil you marry again?"
HUSBAND: "No, i wil also stay with ur sister"

Period

Teacher: "Do you know the importance of period?"
Kid:"Ya,once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted,dad got heart attack & our driver ran away."

Active to passive

Teacher-"Active se pasive me badlo- bache jab sunsan jagho pe chale jate he to hadso ko janm dete hai"
Student-"sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho ko janm dete hai."

Letter

Sardar naukri dhoond raha tha,
Videsh se reply aa gaya. Bada khush. Daru-sharu di party de dali. Dost puchne lage bhai, bata to kon si company hai, kitni salary hai....
Sardaar ji: English me letter aaya hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haan

"You Do not meet"
tum to milte hi nahin ho.

"our requirements"
Hume to bahut zarurat hai.

"no further correspondence"
Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahi,

"will be entertained"
Bahut khatir ki jayegi.

New element

New addition to the periodic table of chemical elements
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Wt: don't even dare to ask..
Physical properties:boils at anything.can freeze at any time.meltz if handled with love and care.very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties:Very reactive.highly unstable.Posses strong affinity for gold platinum diamond and other precious items.Volatile when left alone.

Painful Delivery!!

Teacher- duniya mein kis aurat ki delivery sabse painful thi?
Student- sunny deol ki maa ki.
Teacher- wo kaise?
Student- kyunki wo nikla . . . Gaddi le ke

Biwi hogi tere!!

saradr on bike with his sis, One man comments "kitni sundar biwi hai" .sardar angrily replies "oye, biwi hogi teri, meri to behan hai"

Most innocent dhamki

As the thief was leaving the house the kid woke up and said the thief,"mera school bag bhi le jaa kamine warna mumy ko utha dunga."

Examination format

New EXAM pattern for INDIA-
1.General students: Answer ALL the questions.
2.OBC: Write ANY questions.
3.ST: ONLY READ questions.
4.SC: Thanks for coming for examination

Beggar's Choice

Bikhari Praposes 2 A GIRL
DO U LUV ME?
GIRL-SHAKAL DEKHI HAI APNI ISSE ACHA TO MAIN SUICIDE KAR LU.
Bikhri-sali MAR JAEGI PAR kisi GARIB ke KAAM NAHI AAYEGI.

Ghanti maru ke!!

HARYANVI JAAT riding a cycle & hits a girl. Girl : Ghanti nahi maari jati kya? JAAT : Re chhori baawli dikhe? Poori cycle maar di ab ghanti alag se maru ke.